ME: Do you like dogs?
Learner: Yes.
Me: Do you have a dog?
Learner: No.
Me: Do you have any pets?
Learner: One feesh.
Me: What's his name?
Learner: He has no name.
Me: Name him after me.
Learner: Ok, I will do this.

Overheard at Jewel's deli counter...

Jamie: How can I help you?
BlackWomanOver35: Can I sample a chicken wing? One that's not too hot.
Jamie: Sure.
BW35: Gimme a bigger one!
Jamie: I can't give you more than one.
BW35: What's yo name? I'm gonna tell yo supa-visa.
Jamie: Jamie.
BW35: Just like a girl.
OlderBlackWomanBehindtheCounter: She do this every day.

((evil giant cat face))
Me: Is this cat mean or nice?
Eddy(6 yrs old): He is a mean cat because he is not well trained.

((swimming sea turtle))
Me: Is the turtle swimming alone?
Eddy: The SEA turtle is swimming alone. SEA turtle.

((Indie car race))
Me: Which car is going to win the race?
Eddy: The red car.
Me: Have you ever been to a race?
Eddy: Not a car race. I only go to horse races.

from a place called community college...

Me: Who knows what "decimates" means?
Student: Is that like when someone decimates--like they go to the bathroom on your chest?
Me: No... That's--um--something else.

Me: Do you take the bus?
Elly: Yes.
Me: Where do you take the bus?
Elly: I take the bus to many places in North Korea. I live in North Korea!
Me: ...would you like to visit another country?
Elly: I would like to visit Japan and the USA.
Me: Where would you not like to visit?
Elly: South Korea. I never want to go to South Korea.
Me: ...
Elly: Wait, is Seoul in North Korea or South Korea?
Me: Seoul is in South Korea.
Elly: Oh! I live in SOUTH Korea.

Me: My grandmother is from Italy.
Learner: (very excited) Does she know Snooki?
Me: Snooki is from South America!
Learner: But the Situation is Italian, right?
Me: I think so.
Learner: Do you know him?
Me: ...no.